Wednesday, June 20, 2012

An Entire Post Devoted to Gabrielle "dancingqueen0618" Fisher

I have some wonderful friends. Seriously, I have been blessed with the most fantastically superb friends on Earth. However, one friend stands above the rest (mainly because she's put up with my shananagins since the 3rd grade)...and that betch just had a birthday. 

So, since I am no longer in the same state as the most gorgeously badass girl I know, I decided that the only appropriate way to wish that gem a "HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY BBYCAKEZ" would be by listing (so standard. Cannot stop making lists.) 22 reasons why Gabrielle Fisher is my future maid of honor, the ying to my yang, the lactose to my get the idea.


1. She is kind of a drunk-klepto, just like me. While we don't take things of importance, Gabrielle is a professional "borrower" of items from various parties. She is also now the proud owner of a hand-made blanket, approx. 27 shot glasses, a statue named "Phideltina," an an extra large Gators sweatshirt.

Oh, and this Star made out of bread. That may have been part of a spinach dip display... I think we left it on someone's Nativity scene yard decor (oops).

2. Her hair has a magical ability to transform from fro to mermaid. It's amazing. I'm so jealous.

3. She takes awkward family photos with me...well...basically all the time.
Check those fake smiles.

4. She once walked into a party, decided it was lame, and changed the song to "Oxy Cotton"

...and then rapped the entire thing.

5. Because when the second Narnia movie came out, we reenacted "Lazy Sunday" and went and saw it. On a Sunday. with the works. Don't know what I'm referring to? Watch this video and then fall even more in love with us:

6. You knew it was coming: Her wooty (white girl booty) is phenomenal. Like...ridiculous. I probably have a creepy picture of it somewhere, but I will resist the urge.

7. Because we're both lactose intolerant and are able to communicate our woes. And by that I mean we text each other things like: "Drunk-ate mac and cheese last night. TODAY'S GOING TO BE AWESOME. fml"

8. She has a fantastic taste in music. Fan-friggin-tastic. We went to Bonnaroo together in 2010. I cannot put into words how wonderful that weekend was...mainly because we both wanted to go to all the same things and could survive in a small tent with each other. Also because of this kid:
I think you know what our answer was.

9. She takes jokes way too far with me. a point where it is awkward that we're even laughing about things anymore. But we still find them hilarious...probably because we're hilarious. I'm not afraid to admit it.

10. She never realized that I was really fat in 5th grade. Like legit had no idea at the time. In related news, I was really chubs in 5th grade.

11. She decided that I should have the right to name all of her Goldfish (which received names such as "Marshmallow" and "Shelley" and "Cuba"...really great names.) AND create her AIM screen names (Dancingqueen0618 was SUCH a hit)

12. She's just as weird as I am, which is really difficult.

13. She's the reason that I started running/ ran my half marathon. She's a fitspiration...seriously. She worked as a fitness instructor all through college. My best friend is awesome. 

and yes, I did attend her classes, stand in the front row and make her feel awkward. What are friends for?

14. She is convinced that cake is a balanced breakfast. 

15. Because we had a joint Neopets Account and named our pet "Preggers69". We've always been so mature.

16. Because not many other people will go into frat houses and sneak off to take pictures like this while there is a house party going on:
17. She is the only person that I feel comfortable telling absolutely everything to. Literally...she knows everything about me. If you tell me anything, Gabby will know about it. Sorry I'm not sorry.

18. Because in 8th grade we made fake AIM screen names and actually managed to convince someone that we were a girl with nub legs who had just suffered a horrible bee-sting attack and that we were in love with them and knew where they lived (shoutout Amy Spango). We realize that we are terrible people, but we're not that concerned. We've probably done worse.

19. She does some fabulous nail art and buys the best Birthday/Christmas gifts.

20. Her parents still treat me like a second daughter, even though I once told them that Gabby and I were playing a game called "Guess the Body Part" and they thought I was molesting her. For the record, I wasn't...but I'm still reining champ at that game.

21. I'm convinced that she could make any boy ever fall in love with her. If I were a boy, I would date her in a heartbeat. She is gorgeous, hilarious, and smart as hell (she DEMOLISHED her Mcat. Like, killed it. I'm so proud of her).

22. Because who else would dress up in Christmas outfits and ride around bikes in my neighborhood singing Christmas Carols, take pictures with lawn ornaments, photobomb at every opportunity, listen to me vent about everything ever, let me convince her to make her closet into a "Groovy room"...the list goes on.

Basically, I'm obsessed with her and I am so honored to have such a cool BF/FL. She's coming to visit in a week. Things are going to get weird. I CANNOT WAIT.

Love you, Lovemuffin!

And here's a Meaghanism:

39. I am really proud of my teeth and wear my retainer religiously when I go to bed. I also have no idea how they're still so white. I used whitestrips once in the 11th grade and ever since they've stayed white. I don't hate it.

1 comment:

  1. Well this is the first post of yours I've read without any comments so I think I'm gonna try my luck...

    First and foremost, you're awesome. I'm sorry, it just had to be said. Your bestie seems great. You guys sound a lot like me and my best friend although we decided that term was too informal so we settled on heterosexual lifemates (feel free to steal that). I am absolutely convinced that you cannot possibly be as clever, funny, impassioned, and overall bad ass as you are (not to mention really, really, ridiculously good looking), and still be single! It just doesn't happen.

    I can totally relate with the whole state transplant thing. I transferred schools a few years back and without knowing a soul went from California to Tennessee (just a little ways down the road from Bonnaroo, gorgeous city, perfect size, tons of outdoorsy stuffs, you'd actually really like it). Unfortunately it puts me nowhere near the greater Michigan area. So in an effort to not come across as just another one of your many suitors (seriously it's a lot, how do you do it?), I propose we become pen pals!! A little old fashioned, I know, but you're really interesting and I thought we could use 1's and 0's instead of ink to mix things up (that and I'm far more comfortable putting my email address online than my physical one). So yeah,, give me shout if your boredom or curiosity gets the better of you...or not, either way, you're still pretty damn awesome.


    PS. Sorry if I over-parenthesize (but sidebars are the spice of life!).